Finally Spoken Tag to Common Ground
by sglatte
Summary: Tag/Missing Scenes from Common Ground. A bit of angst and romance for Toni Beck OC . One shot. The following takes place mid-way through the episode Common Ground. It begins just after the failed rescue attempt, but before the second Wraith feeding.


Finally Spoken – Tag to Common Ground

Tag/Missing Scenes from Common Ground. A bit of angst and romance for Toni Beck (OC). One shot. The following takes place mid-way through the episode Common Ground. It begins just after the failed rescue attempt, but before the second Wraith feeding.

Teyla glanced over at Rodney as the hurried back to the Jumper. His hands clenched and unclenched. The muscles of his face worked, all the anxiety and dread showing plainly. "Rodney, it is not your faulty this was not the place."

"I should have…" He began, but shook his head. "If there was a way…"

"Rodney."

"There has to be a way to figure this out." He turned to her with pained eyes. "Sheppard doesn't deserve…this is not the way he's supposed to die."

"Rodney. You cannot think that way."

"He's right." Ronon finally spoke. "Sheppard should die in battle, making a difference, not as some pawn for someone's revenge. And that's exactly the thinking that keeps us from giving up."

Ronon didn't say another word on the way back. There was another matter that bothered him. Sheppard had been missing for more than seven hours. They knew he was captured and they knew he'd been fed on once already. Yet he was sure no one had told Toni. She should know, before it was too late.

Elizabeth waited for them as they disembarked the jumper. "He wasn't there."

"No, the warehouse was…" McKay stopped and his face fell. "It happened already, didn't it?"

She gave one curt nod.

"Damn." Rodney's shoulders dropped and his head rolled back. Sheppard is going to die. Damn. _Think, McKay, there's something you're missing._ He rubbed a hand over his face. He stormed off. "I'm going to keep looking."

Ronon stepped up to Weir, towering over her. "She deserves to know." He said quietly.

"I don't have anything to tell her yet." Elizabeth was having enough trouble with her own grief right now. Telling the woman in John's life, seeing her grief, would damage the tenuous walls she'd created. Without them she would not be able to do what needed to be done.

Looking at her, Ronon realized it wasn't that Weir didn't want to tell Toni, she couldn't. Make up his mind, he left.

"Teyla." Elizabeth began, but she couldn't quite find the words. There were so many doubts, so many questions.

"Elizabeth," the Athosian placed her hands on the other woman's shoulders. "You are doing the right thing. You are doing what John would want you to do, no matter the sacrifice." Her own emotions threatened to break free. "We have not given up yet." The tears in her eyes threatened to fall. Teyla looked to the ceiling, finding her strong center. "I have faith."

0o0o0o0o0

Every muscle, every bone, in John's body ached. It was hard to breathe. His chest felt like it had been torn apart. _They're out there. They'll find you._ So much pain. Everything hurt. His heart hurt. _Toni._ He tried to focus on his faith in his team, in his friends. If there is a way, they will find it. They will. Still, lying there, his thoughts drifted to her smile, the sound of her laugh… to all of the time being torn away from them.

All the time, gone. _You thought you had all the time in the world, did you? Figured if you didn't think about it, it would all be okay. Stupid, John. Taking it all of for granted._ He chastised himself. _She never pushed. She let it be. Let you get off easy. Never asked you to deal with any of it. Never made you talk about it. Oh God,_ he realized. _I never told her how I feel._

A vice clamped around his chest, not letting in enough air. He wrapped his arms around himself. Rolling over on his side, his knees came up in a near fetal position. The pain in his body crashed against the pain in his heart. It overwhelmed him. _Now it's too late. I'm going to die here._

_Knock that shit off! Right now!_ His inner voice barked. _Elizabeth, Rodney Teyla and Ronon are not going to give up. They will come. You're team will come. You have to get out of here. You have to give them a chance. You have to find a way. Pick your lousy ass up and figure out a plan! Now!_

He pushed himself up to a sitting position. His body screamed against the pain. He focused on all of the things he still had to do…all of the things he would do. The determination to get back - to his friends, to Atlantis, to her - solidified. Using it, he pushed down the pain and locked it away. He had to fight. There's a life to go back to.

"Think, John." He muttered to himself.

0o0o0o0o0

Toni knew there was something wrong the moment Ronon stepped into her lab. She could see it on his face. He just stood there strung tight as a bow. "Ronon?"

His jaw clenched and he frowned deeply. "Sheppard's been captured."

Toni sat down hard. _No._ She knew something could happen every time he walked through the gate. She'd spent many nights thinking about it. Actually hearing the words, felt much worse than she ever imagined. She heard her voice as if it wasn't her who spoke. "What happened?"

"Kolya has him. Weir is working with the Genii to find him." He shook his head, his lips curling from fury.

"There's more." She whispered, feeling a numbness spread over her body.

"He wants Laden and he's using Sheppard to get him. The bastard is letting a Wraith feed on him little by little."

"Wha.." Toni's breath caught in her chest. "What?"

"I'm sorry." Ronon moved closer. "I was right there. He was right behind…"

"No," She grabbed his hand. "Do not take on blame for this. Don't. Please."

"I stood there and watched. There was nothing I could do about it." The disgust dripped from every word.

Anger began to replace fear's hold on her brain. "He's still alive?"

"Yeah, for now. We're still looking."

Question after question slammed around in her mind. When did this happen? How many times? Where was he? How much of his life had been lost? Why didn't she know? Why hadn't she been told?

Toni stood up, throwing her chair backward. Not thinking, moving solely on instinct she ran from the lab. Part of her brain registered Ronon's voice calling out behind her. She sprinted from the transporter and took the stairs to the Control Room two at a time.

"Get the hell out of my way." She pushed past Chuck when he tried to stop her from busting into Elizabeth's office. "Why wasn't I told?"

"Toni," Weir held up both hand none threateningly. "I didn't have…"

"Please, Elizabeth," The fire began to recede, leaving a cold place in her stomach. She gripped the back of the guest chair with white knuckles. "Don't bullshit me."

She felt a hand cover her left hand, and Toni realized for the first time that Carson sat in the other chair. "I'm sorry, love."

Looking down into the doctor's kind face, Toni felt tears well in her eyes. She made no apologies, nor did she make a noise. Tears without crying – her father used to say that's when he knew she was really hurting. Everything locked up but her tears. As they fell across her cheek, she looked at Elizabeth again. Her voice was steady. "I want to know what's happening to John."

"I should have told you sooner. I apologize." Weir stated sincerely. "Please sit."

0o0o0o0o0

Rodney walked into Weir's office on autopilot. He scrolled through the information on his tablet for the hundredth time. Cross-referencing information in every conceivable way, he now resorted to personally checking every fact.

"Anything?" The voice came from behind him. Confused he looked at the desk directly in front of him. Weir sat in her normal chair looking at him expectantly. Carson looked up from the chair at his left. "McKay?" More confused, he turned to the left and then to the right.

Toni sat in a chair in the corner, with her knees pulled up to her chest. "Well?"

"Oh, ah, Toni." He sputtered. Then he noticed the tear streaks. "God, Toni, I'm…"

"Don't, Rodney. Did you find anything?"

"No. Nothing." His shoulders slumped.

"It's okay, I know you're doing everything you can." She reached out and squeezed his fingers. Unlike his normal uncomfortable response, he just squeezed back.

Ronon and Teyla joined them in Elizabeth's office. Even though there was nothing else to do at this point, they all felt the need to be close. Drawing together, just being in each other's company strengthened each other's resolve.

Teyla leaned against the wall near Toni. They shared a look, seeing in each other's eyes the worry, fear and loss. It was a look echoed in everyone's eyes. John was family to each and everyone in the room.

"Doctor!" Chuck called out. "Incoming wormhole."

"In here." She waved Laden it. They all gathered around the screen, all but Toni. She stayed in the chair curled up tight as if she had to physically hold herself together.

The face of the dark haired man appeared on the screen. Toni studied the man's face. It burned into her brain. The man who ripped her life away from her. If she ever saw him again, she would kill him.

"He still has years ahead of him, Dr. Weir. My offer stands."

"So does my answer." Elizabeth responded, showing great strength.

"Though you're effectively ending his life."

"I'm not gonna go there."

The conversation became a blur for Toni. _Ending his life._ Ending it without meaning. Taking away their future for nothing. Extinguishing such a bright soul. Ending a life that touched so many. Toni felt like the city herself would miss him.

Toni heard Kolya say 'take your fill' and it drew her attention back to the screen. She saw it. The Wraith, shackled like a beast. There. Tied to a chair, John sat gagged. His hair turned grey. The Wraith began to feed. John's head flung, eyes closed in pain.

A whimper escaped Toni's lips. She lost sight of the screen from her tears. Ronon growled like an animal in pain. She felt his fingers dig into her shoulders. Everything seemed to crash down around her. She wanted to die.

_John. My love._

"Now it's two hours."

Carson began to explain that he wasn't sure if John would survive, another feeding or not. Toni got up, silently leaving. The image of the Wraith feeding upon John clouded her vision.

She found herself on the balcony outside the gateroom without any recollection as to how she got there. Thoughts of John's smiling face filled her mind. The glint in his eyes when they playfully argued. The look he gave her when he woke her in the morning. There were so many things she wanted to tell him. _I never said it. I should have._ Seeing his eyes in her mind, she corrected herself. _He knows. Just like I do._

0o0o0o0o0

"I cannot find her." Teyla came back into Weir's office.

"Me neither." Rodney practically squeaked. "She's not showing up on the sensors." They'd been looking for Toni since Ladon left. "Oh, no. You don't think she would…"

"No." Ronon shook his head. "She'd never hurt herself."

Rodney snapped his fingers rapidly. "A number of the places she uses for direct access to the water still don't have sensor coverage."

"She's licking her wounds." Ronon dropped his head on to his folded arms. "Let her be."

"The poor lass has to be devastated." Carson worried. "We all are, but she… well, they never said so, but…"

"We know." Teyla smiled sadly. "John is not very good at expressing his feelings. Still, we know."

They all fell into silent thoughts. Everyone withdrew into themselves, but didn't want to venture too far away in case something happened. It felt necessary to stay close to the command center. Time seemed to slow painfully. Yet when the two hour mark came, it came too quickly.

"I don't understand." Rodney paced. "It's been two hours. I thought Kolya would have dialed in by now."

"Shut up." Ronon growled.

"But what if…"

"Just. Shut. Up." The big man stood to his full height over McKay. "Don't say it. Don't even think it."

And so they waited. Eventually, they all gravitated to Elizabeth's office where the conversation did return. Still, no one wanted to suggest that the reason Kolya had not made contact. No one wanted to say John might be dead.

It all turned around when Laden dialed in. He had a location. He knew where Koyla was. The extraction team was ready and in the jumper in record time. They were bound and determined to bring Sheppard back.

0o0o0o0o0

The extraction team picked up the unconscious Wraith with great care, not trusting that he would remain out. The rest followed Sheppard closely, amazed and thrilled that he was alive, restored.

"Colonel, I hav'ta say…" Carson smiled shaking his head. "Your ability to survive never ceases t' amaze me."

"This is one time that I very, very happy to amaze." John smiled.

He looked down to see Teyla return his smile, beaming. She put an arm out and he pulled her under his shoulder, in a sideways hug. "John, I…"

"Yeah," He squeezed her a little tighter. "Me too."

Ronon, who had been keeping a diligent eye - and the sight of his gun - poised on the Wraith, couldn't keep the wry grin off his face. They got him. Even if he didn't get to kill Kolya, they got Sheppard.

When they reached the jumper and the Wraith was secure, Ronon moved forward slapping John on the shoulder. Sheppard settled into the pilot's seat and looked up at his friend. "Thanks for coming."

"I owed you." Ronon teased. "Besides, she'd kill me if I didn't."

_She. Toni._ John sighed, not even wanting to imagine what she'd been going through. _Time to get home._

"Let's drop him off and get back." John piloted the jumper to the gate. "It's been a long day."

0o0o0o0o0

"Really, Carson, I feel great." John was standing at the rear hatch of the jumper as it lowered.

"But, the trauma that your body has…"

"Later, okay?" John plead. "I promise."

Standing and waiting to see for herself, Elizabeth practically bounced with anticipation. "Oh my god."

"Nice to see you too." John smiled, walking down to her. She couldn't help herself. Elizabeth threw her arms around him in a tight hug.

"I am so sorry." She whispered so only he could hear, the guilt making her voice waiver.

"You did the right thing." He whispered back.

She pulled away, fighting back the emotions that had been so tightly locked down over the past hours.

"Did you find Toni?" Teyla asked. "Does she know?"

"No, not yet." Elizabeth shook her head.

"What do mean?" John frowned, realizing that Toni should be there.

"After the last time it…" Rodney started but couldn't quite finish saying it.

"Fed." Ronon scowled. "She took off… needed to be alone."

"It's okay." John chewed his lip. "I have a pretty good idea where she could have gone."

Leaving the others behind, he traveled down into the lower parts of Atlantis. A while back he took her to an outdoor terrace near the water level. It was off the sensors. He'd taken her there for a romantic night under the stars. Since then, she said she liked to go there to "put her feet in the water," which he knew meant she went there to think.

Stepping outside, he saw her sitting at the end of the terrace. Her feet dangled over the edge and her shoulders slumped forward. He moved closer. She shuttered with a ragged breath and pained sob. His throat constricted, feeling crushed.

"Please don't cry."

Toni cried, feeling nothing coherent, only pain. _Oh, John. I can't stop._ She silently answered the voice she thought she heard in her head.

"Toni, please."

His voice penetrated the fog. She turned to see him standing only a few feet away. Not drained of life. Not on the edge of death. He was there, as she knew him…strong and virile. _How?_

"Hey?" John knelt down beside her, running his fingers through her hair. Her dark eyes were reddened by tears. "I'm okay."

"John." She breathed, reaching out for him, afraid it wasn't real. Her hand touched his face, feeling the rough stubble of more than a day's growth. A wracking sob broke from her chest as she crawled up into his arms.

He crushed her to his chest. She held him as tightly. John breathed in the scent of her hair. She sobbed great cries of relief. Kneeling on the deck, holding her tightly, he rocked lightly and whispered words of assurance. Eventually Toni's cries subsided.

"I thought I'd lost you."

"You nearly did." John pulled back enough to look into her eyes. "I'm okay, though. I'm home." His lips touched hers. He gave a silent thanks to whatever power in the universe allowed him to come back, letting him say what he should have said before. "I love you."


End file.
